You're going to burn the city down...

Touring has never really been better for me, I think. Touring has always been something that I enjoy, but this time I think it's almost life changing. I think that it's because I have a new outlook on life, and the way things are going, it's obvious. Just being on stage, singing to kids that still know all of my songs is amazing. I don't even mind the long trip on the bus, having to make stops, and not being at home too much. I mean, of course I miss New York, just about all of my friends are there, but I have to do what I was born to do, and that's perform. My friends can always come visit me anyway. It's not like I don't have friends on tour, either, this is really Noel's tour, I'm just tagging along with him and doing my own thing. Its thrilling. I guess I can't really say much more about it than I already have, I think I'm just overly excited still, even though we've been touring for a couple of weeks now.

I just watched a commercial with Hershey's Kisses in it, they were sword fighting with their paper tops. I've never been big on the Hershey's Kiss candy, I think they're kind of odd looking, but it was kind of a cute commercial. I think they sort of went overboard with them, they have peppermint Kisses and stuff. Don't they have a type of Kiss candy called Hugs? I think I saw that once in the store. Maybe I was mistaken.

Man, I was watching Forensic Files earlier on the bus tv, and that show is fucking scary. It's scary what people can do to other people and try to get away with. It makes me sad, too, cause most of the time it's someone that the victim knows that killed them, and like eighty percent of the time it's a spouse. It makes me sad, and kind of afraid haha. I guess people will do as they do, and I'm not too worried. I don't believe that anyone close to me could ever do that to me, and I don't have a spouse or significant other that could kill me, so that doesn't worry me either. I guess I just overthink things sometimes. Crime is something that I can't do anything about, I just hope it never happens to anyone that I know. That wouldn't be good at all.

Gotta get back to the venue, I snuck out to update on my laptop so I didn't have to do it from my phone. If you need me, you know how to reach me.

-Daniel

It's been a long time since I've been capable of really sitting down to write in this thing. Don't get me wrong, It's not like I absolutely hate to express myself, considering that I've been doing it for a while now, even in my anger management rehab, and i've sort of gotten used to it. It's funny how that works, you can be anti-social but not find spilling your heart out to a bunch of people on the internet. What that says about me socially I don't even want to know, I just know that I'm finally starting to feel better than I have in a long time.

I think everyone needs some kind of closure on certain aspects of their lives, and of course I get my closure sometimes when I least expect it. Of course the things I need closure to are often of my own doing, and I guess just getting that closing satisfaction is enough to make me feel a little bit better about it. Starting over, starting fresh, that's what I really want, and I got it this time, I am able to really say that I fixed things just a little and that I can start over new and work my way back up the path that I'd detoured from in the first place. It's thrilling, kind of, and I feel better that I've started taking my medication again. I need to keep taking it, I get weird if I don't. It makes me wonder how I lasted so long without it in the first place, what kind of a person I was before that. I know, of course, what kind of a person I was, and that's what makes it so bad.

The weather in New York is decent, it's definitely weather that I'm used to, but it sure isn't Maine. It's a great place to be, though, and it still feels like home to me wether it really is or not. More home than Los Angeles ever really felt. I think it was just too hot there for my tastes, and of course I have my band here with me too so that makes everything all of the better when you really think about it. It's great having a band so close that you can depend on them like you would a real family. I'm so thankful to have them, I don't know where I'd be without them. Them, and my friends of course, I'm lucky to have my friends as well. How they put up with me, I'll never be totally sure, but I'm at least grateful and I want them to know that. It's always been hard for me to really express myself in words, especially to other people, but I think I do an alright enough job so that the people around me know that I love them in so many ways. Things are going to start getting better, I can feel it. There is just something about the weather today that tells me my life is about to change again, for the better, as long as I stay on the right path. I definitely intend on doing that.

But first, I have a few errands to run, and people to see. I'll write more later, when I get back maybe, if I have anything interesting to add.

-Dan

Daniel likes to think of himself as a unique person, when it comes to his music, or himself as a whole. Though nobody is genuinely unique anymore, he won't let anyone convince him otherwise. He feels he'd rather be headstrong and stubborn on one belief, than really face the facts of reality which can be a pretty frightening wake-up call. Avoiding those situations is the best idea altogether.

Daniel Mills was born in Maine on March 5, 1984 to a middle class household of a mother and a father. He was an only child, so things weren't as difficult for him as one might've expected based on the outcome of his life so far. Daniel was four years old when his mother and father got a divorce, and Daniel was devistated that his father was moving out, and that he had to live with his mother. After episodes of begging and pleading to go stay with his father, he was given the final answer that he didn't want to hear, and stayed with his mother in Maine. After that point in his life, Daniel started to act out wherever he was. It wasn't that he had a bad nature, part of it was curiousity, and the other part was the need for attention. His mother and teachers had a hard time getting him to sit still in class, or at home, and he threw fits if he didn't get exactly what he wanted. It was the only way he knew of to express the feelings he felt for the things he'd lost. To be angry. He rarely cried, well infront of anyone else, so he found things to destroy in his house and kept to himself when he needed time to think. Even as a child his mind rushed with the reasons why his father had left, and he only blamed himself, too young to understand what really might've gone on between his parents. He loved his mother, he really did even if everyone thought he didn't, but he didn't know how to show her, or tell her, so he acted up when she was around. She didn't understand, she couldn't possibly.

Highschool came next, and Daniel's behavior had settled down a little bit. His mother made him regularly scheduled therapy appointments to help him cope with a divorce he'd been holding onto since he was four, and he was trying to make sure his temper didn't flare up in situations where it was uncalled for. He was tall, and thin, but as he grew during his highschool years he began to work out and become toned. It was in that part of his life that Daniel finally found an interest that he could use as an outlet for his emotions. Heavy metal. He became obsessed with metal bands, and even listened to glam metal like Kiss although their prime had already come and gone. He made regular trips to the musical scene, to see the metal bands play, and was inspired to do what they did, but do it better. He wanted to have what all of those great musician's did, and he wanted to be admired by people that might not have someone to look up to. Someone like him. So Daniel searched through his highschool and in the clubs that hosted live local music, and scraped together a band that wasn't exactly metal, but it was heavy and it suited him just fine. They began to book shows, and Daniel's grades started to slip further beneath the average mark, but he didn't really mind. Music was his passion, and without it he felt like there was no point in living. School, and a backup plan in case the music career fell through, was the least of his concerns. For his mother's sake, though, he did graduate, and by that point his band had reached local popularity. He was known throughout the state, and they played venues that most bands couldn't even book. That was, until their guitarist dropped out of the band. Without a guitarist, their sound wouldn't be the same, so Daniel turned to the first person he knew of that could hold their sound together, his best friend Travis Ryan. He and Travis had gone to highschool together, and both shared the same passion for creating music, so Travis was the perfect fit for Daniel's band. The band continued to excell, and were offered a contract with a huge label in New York after a scout spotted them rocking out at a local club. It was at that point Daniel knew his life was complete, and everything he'd worked for had finally started to pull together, as if this was meant for him only. They toured around the country, and their bands name was renown on the top music charts. Their music videos reached the outskirts of YouTube and VH1, pushing their exposure to the music scene even further. They weren't a mega band, of course, but they were climbing the ladder quickly. At the peak of their successful careers, a silent rift started to settle in between Daniel and Travis. They seemed to butt heads more often than not, and the static started to increase the more music they wanted to write. Daniel saw it as a struggle for power, since both of them were vocalists, and of course he definitely wasn't going to hear any differently. Travis had other reasons for the static, and eventually left the band to Daniel who took it badly, of course partly blaming himself when there was nobody around. His anger flared again, and his abandonment started to come back, so anytime anyone asked anything about the falling out with Travis, he gave them a peice of his mind. He didn't really feel that way, about the things he said to the press, but he didn't know how else to express himself.

After the falling out with Travis, things only seemed to get worse for Daniel, as his label decided it wanted to relocate. A native of Maine, the label stationed in New York was perfect as it was still on the same side of the country as he was, and it wasn't rediculous to have to get there if he needed to. Unfortunately for Daniel, the label was giving him the option of moving to Los Angeles, California to continue with the same contract, or dropping him from the label and taking complete ownership to everything Daniel had created. He opted for the first choice, packed his bags, and moved out to California with the rest of his band. He ended up in LA, where he'd been before but had never stayed more than a couple of days in, so it was brand-new to him. He remembered seeing something about his ex-friend Travis living somewhere in California, maybe it was LA, but of course Daniel didn't give a shit where Travis lived. Travis could've drowned in the ocean for all he cared. He did miss his friend, deep down inside of his heart, but he didn't know how to say it, or even where to begin telling anyone, so he just continued to let himself be pissed off about old things, and would keep to himself and his bands affairs in LA if that's what it took. And he would do it with a smile.

daniel sets up